Where have I been? Where am I now?
I really suck at keeping up with writing. That’s sad because I actually enjoy it. I used to write constantly for a piece of mind. Songs, poetry or just stories. They never saw the light of day, however. That changed when I was asked to write an article for a magazine. I ended up writing over 200 articles, and for 8 years became the editor of another trade magazine. I went on to do a radio show for about 5 years. Those things were all part-time, however, as I worked full time beyond those personal indulgences.
Yes, I was a workaholic. So most of my life I used writing as a way to handle issues. If I had a bad, heartbreaking breakup, I would write sappy poetry talking about the rain coming from my tears (I never said I was any good!). If I had anything to express at all, I might write a story. In other words, I liked to write and it helped me. Yet, I have not been writing!
No excuses. Nope haven’t been writing. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”. Thank you, John Lennon. I have been very busy and just did not feel like writing. That’s it. I was busy trying to decide where I would live. Busy dealing with endless pneumonia type problems. Trying to breathe. Then preparing to move. Moving to Colombia, and becoming a man on the run from the law (see my videos). I was swept up in one thing after another, and now I find myself in a city I never planned to move to, nearly broke and without knowing anyone… or very few. Poor me? Hardly.
I like being alone for the most part. I enjoy the silence. I love to do what I want and when without anyone taking offense at my oft-times seeming indifference to things. I don’t like to justify my moods, how I am feeling or what I am thinking. Wtf why do people need to know that anyway? If they knew the things that went on in my head they would certainly rethink trying to pry in there. So I sit here in Manizales, Colombia in the midst of the rainy season (2 months) and am enjoying the sun. I spent some time with my guitar this morning and decided to finally write a little to catch up. After all, it has only been what…6 months? a year?
So what is new? For me, not much. For you, a lifetime of adventures. Because of my illness and medications, I had no interest in females. The meds changed this past spring and true to spring, I started feeling it. I started wanting a female company again. Now after being alone for a number of years, this was daunting. And in another country with poor language skills? To make matters worse, In Cuenca, the ultra-prudish capital of the world. Yet I did OK.
I will not post photos or reveal names or details, but I will tell you I had 9 “close” relationships this year before I left Cuenca. It was a strange time. Did I find my “life partner”? Well, it takes two. A few turned out to be just for fun (both parties). A couple had real possibilities, but something wasn’t quite there for me. In one case it was fireworks in every way, and nearly everything was great, but there was one aspect I didn’t trust, so I passed on that. There was one. Blew me away. I admire and respect her and loved every moment. Kind, passionate, caring, she had it all. Well, no English, but other than that! So what happened? It is hard to say. One moment everything is great, the next she is running for her life. I got the “It’s not you, it’s me” treatment. I suspect it was best since I really am not so sure I am ready.
So then I moved to Colombia. Here I found I could have what I want whenever I want it for the most part. I have been approached a number of times. I also signed up to one of those dating services. I met quite a few people through that. It is a zillion times easier here, especially if you just want a “hook-up”. But beware. In one case, I was contacted by someone 21. I was not too keen on that as the younger they are the more likely they are just looking for a meal ticket (same as in the USA). And to me, 21 is a baby. But for a few reasons, I decided to meet. She was nice and convincing. SO she came to my place. We sat down to chat (me in my horrible Spanish) and I noticed she really looked young. I mean REALLY young. So I ask her. She turned red, and finally told me she was 18. I had already decided I wasn’t interested in any romantic way, but I still am looking for friends. In her case… warning bells were screaming. So after we talked a while we ended the convo and I walked her to the door. I got the usual kiss on the cheek and said goodbye. She was very nice actually, but it was all wrong.
She messaged me a few days later to say hello, and in the conversation, I told her my plans. I had to go to an office, and she offered to go and help in case there was a language issue. I said no thanks, but she said she was only a few minutes away, so what the hell, right? She came up to my apartment… in a Catholic school girl outfit. Either she was some role playing hooker, or she was in high school! So I asked her again and she admitted… 16!! Well, that was all just too much. Still over the legal age, but hell no… no, thank you. I decided I didn’t even want a friend that age. It felt very wrong because of what SHE wanted. Now I had made friends with an 18-year-old girl that I ran into near my place and she has helped me with Spanish… nothing more. But that is very different.
Most have been between the ages of 24 and 52. My favorite one by far… one I loved every moment with, turned out to be separated and was still on the fence. Nope… I can’t do that. Too bad, she is awesome. Another comes from a town nearby and turns out she just wants a roll in the hay now and then and doesn’t want anyone in her life to know. What better than another town with little Spanish and no history here? I feel so used! I met a couple that was basically gold diggers. Sorry girls, no gold here. I can imagine how bad THAT is in Medellin! So in total, how many in Colombia? It depends on what you are talking about. But I can honestly say if I want adult activity it is just a WhatsApp message away with several. If I want a real relationship? Well, I am very picky and just am not finding it yet. With the exception of one possible I mentioned.
Recovering my passport (was lost, had to get new… SEE THE VIDEOS!) getting the visa and Cedula have been a real ordeal. But to be fair, if I had not been here illegally, it is amazingly easy! Visa in 10 days… Cedula in 5. To those who do not know… Cedula is a national ID card. It is required in South American countries and you must always carry it. It’s the law. I now have mine and I am 100% legal, and as I mentioned, I am broke. I will eventually be fine but the next few months will be a challenge. Oh well… not the first time! I have even considered going back to the USA and going back to work for 6 months to a year. I sent out a feeler and got a flurry of calls. The money is great, but the logistics… no car, no apartment, nothing. The offers came from Pennsylvania, Oregon, and Washington. Pay from around $60k to over $100k. But the more I thought about it, the more I see it’s not really practical. It would take a number of months to be effective, and my heart wouldn’t be in it. I LOVE living as I am. Where I am. Going back to that grind (even though I love the work), I wouldn’t be giving my all, I fear. And again, the car and apartment issues… leases etc. So I don’t think that is my answer.
I started a “GoFundMe” so we will see how that goes. I have this idea that I can travel to various locations for people and do videos. There are many great places to live even though people in general only know “Medellin”. While a nice city, far from my favorite. I couldn’t live there.
Feel free to go back through my videos as they have covered everything. But as always, I use the writing to share things I could never say out loud. I hope your life is going as well as mine is. When I have problems it is more an adventure. And when I do not, it is just a better adventure. My life is good. No, my life is great. A bit lonely at times right now, but not too much. Let’s do this again soon, and maybe not wait so long.